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Bizarre
2005-11-23

**********Pea Pod
By: Wholeman********** Well here I am, riding in another puddle jumper, over another remote jungle.   Oh well, such is the life of a geologist.   At least such is my life as a geologist.   I’m a consultant and my clients have me going all over the world to analyze possible mining sites, for all kinds of ore.
This particular client is in an especially big hurry so I’m stuck bouncing around flying through a storm to get to this remote site, it’s just the pilot and I.
“CAARAAACKK,” lightning pasted the wing off the plane and killed my pilot, a short spiral in and I expected that the insurance company would be paying my beneficiaries, when the jungle hit me in the face.
**********I awoke to see a pretty, native girl looking down into my face.   “What happened?” I mumbled, still groggy.
“Plane boom tree,” she answered in broken English.
Well at least someone here spoke my lingo, even if only a little.
“Where am I?” I asked her slowly and as clearly as I could, trying to make it easier for her to understand.
“In village.   In my hut,” she answered, though it wasn’t much help.
I tried to sit up, and that’s when the pain in my leg made itself known, “Ahh!”
“Hurt leg.   Not broke,” she offered.
“There’s good news,” I stated, my face still contorted in pain.

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“Here, chew.   Hurt go,” she told me as she handed me a piece of tree bark.
I knew from my college days that certain trees had a painkiller in the bark so I accepted the offered medication and gnawed on it a while.   Soon the pain dulled and I was feeling better.
“I guess it’s time to do the me Tarzan.   You Jane bit,” I mumbled to myself.   “Uh, my name is Doug.   What is your name?”
“Meka,” she answered, pointing to herself.
“Thank you Meka, for helping me,” I don’t know how much English she knows, but it seems to me that it’s only right to thank someone for their aid, whether they understand or not.   She must have understood, she smiled and blushed.
I looked around the hut thinking, ‘what now?  I don’t suppose they have a cell phone around somewhere, or an Internet connection.   Hell I’ll even settle for a 1944 vintage radio set. ’
No luck there, I did notice that there was only one sleep mat in this hut, and the weather outside was sunny and warm.
“How long?” I asked her.
She held up three fingers.

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“This is your bed,” I pointed to the mat I was, on.
She nodded her head, blushing.
“Where did you sleep, while I was here?” still pointing at the mat.
She turned crimson and pointed right next to me.
Okay, we had been sleeping together for three days.   Too bad I was unconscious.
I went to stand up and she jumped over and assisted my efforts.   Now that I am standing, I can see that this girl is short.   I could almost use her as a crutch.   I have to settle on using her as a cane.   She put her hands around my waist and tried to hold me steady as we made our way toward the door.
Outside the clamor of village life, children playing, and the smells of food being prepared, assaulted my senses.   I looked about hoping to recognize any signs that there existed communication with the outside world.   Two things hit me like a hammer blow.   The first was, there seemed to be no refined metal in evidence.

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    No pots, pans, knives, belt buckles, and no wire anywhere.   The second was the ratio of men to women was totally out of balance.   There were at least five women to every man, many of them living alone in solitude.
My head was spinning and with the help of Meka, I made my way back to her sleeping mat.
“Meka, why are there so few men?” I realize it was a complicated question and hoped that she knew enough English to understand.
“Jungle very dangerous,” she replied emphatically.
I’m sure my eyes looked like they would pop from my head.   If the jungle around this village was that dangerous that it kills off most of the native men, getting out of here might be harder than I had hoped, for.
“Animals?” I inquired.
“No, no animals, bushes,” she supplied.
‘Bushes?’ bushes were killing off the men of the village?  Must be tough being a horticulturist around these parts.
“No afraid,” Meka told me as she stroked my brow.   She stood and said, “I come back. ”  She left the hut and a very puzzled geologist.
My brain was whirling along and I thought, ‘you’re in it now Doug, lost in a jungle with man-eating bushes and no way to communicate with the outside world.

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    I better just work on getting better until I can explore on my own and find a way to get back to civilization. ’
Meka popped into the hut carrying two bowls and a ceramic jug, “Eat,” she said and handed me a bowl with some kind of stew in it.
I looked around for some kind of utensil and Meka picked up her bowl, put it to her lips and started pouring it into her mouth saying, “Good. ”
Oh well, when in Rome…  I followed her lead and discovered the stew was incredible.   I don’t know what was in it and I probably didn’t want to know.   It had chunks of meat and all kinds of vegetables, which I could not identify.   Something that was like watercress, maybe some cilantro… I don’t know.   What I do know is that it was delicious.
“Mmmm good,” I told her.
She handed me the jug making drinking motions, so I took a swig and came up choking!  “Holy shit, it’s brandy,” I choked out, “but damn good brandy. ”
I took another sip, much more carefully and savored it across my palate, enjoying that familiar alcohol burn on my tongue and breathed in the heated vapors savoring the delightful flavor.
As far as I’m concerned, I had just enjoyed a gourmet meal with a beautiful woman.
I handed the jug to her so she could join me.
She took a ladylike sip and handed it back.   She was looking at me shyly, and reached for something wrapped in what looked like, a cornhusk, which she handed to me after she opened the husk.

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    It looked like a truffle.   “Eat,” she urged.
If this tasted even half as good as everything else she had fed me, I couldn’t wait.   I bit into it and lord if wasn’t a chocolate mint.
“Mmmm mm,” I exclaimed.
These natives know how to live.   Maybe I died in that plane crash and this was heaven.
Uh oh…  Mr. Happy is making an appearance.   In mere moments, I was sporting an Iron Wood Woody.   It felt like I’d have to take a five-pound hand sledge to beat it down.   I looked up at Meka embarrassed, and she looked back with the expression of a hungry lioness.
She had my pants off and I was stripped down before I could even utter a, by your leave.   She started by trying to soften Mr. Happy up with saliva, but it wasn’t working, all she managed to do was get me lying prone on her mat moaning like a smitten little girl.

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She had been working herself with her hand and before I knew what she was up to, she had impaled herself on my rigid shaft.   She must have been a virgin because she let out a little yelp as she came down on me, that and this little darling had the tightest cunt that Mr. Happy had ever been in.
I couldn’t believe what was happening to me.   The muscle control she has in her vagina was purely incredible, it felt like she was milking my cock with her pussy.
She started screaming something in her native tongue and we both orgasmed together.
I could feel her love juice all the way up to my chest.   No woman I’d ever been with, had orgasmed with such abandon.   When her body stopped spasming, she lay down onto my chest and kissed me holding my face in her soft little hands.
I could feel her pussy still gripping and releasing my softening organ.   This girl is amazing.   I held her close to me as I started to nod off.
**********When consciousness returned I felt the warmth of her body snuggled close and the weight of the skins that she had wrapped around us.   I could hear rain pelting down outside the hut and was glad to be inside dry and warm.
Meka tightened her grip, wriggling up against me.

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‘What the hell happened last night?’ I thought, ‘that was the most unreal sex I’d ever had.   What was in that chocolate, Viagra?’
When I opened my eyes again, another woman who was also quite stunning was kneeling next to the mat.
She leaned over and planted a kiss on my lips that nearly had me erect again.   I could feel Meka getting up on her elbows behind me, and the next thing I knew the two women were kissing.
‘This is one strange village,’ I thought.
The new woman crawled into bed with the two of us, and started snuggling up to me as if we were long time lovers.   Don’t get me wrong, I loved it, but you can see that I was a little intimidated.   It is hard enough satisfying one woman… but satisfying two?  I sure hope they have a shit load of that chocolate around.
I was relieved when all the new girl wanted was a warm place to snuggle up to, so I relaxed and fell back asleep.
When once again I stirred from my slumber, I found myself alone under the blanket and looking out of the hut, I could see that the sun was shining.   Occasionally one of the women would peer into the hut, smile, giggle, and then walk away.
For the next week, Meka had a different woman sleep with us and I had more ménage à trios, than I could have possibly dreamed.   The women of this village were the horniest group of females you could imagine, and always there was Meka.
One day she woke me with this walking stick in her hand and simply said, “Come. ”
She helped me to my feet and handed the walking stick to me after demonstrating how I should use it.

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    It was very cute the way she mothered me.   She treated me like a fragile and scarce commodity.
We walked together out to what seemed to be the central, or group meeting area and I was, seated in what seemed to be a place of honor.
“What is this?” I asked her sweeping my hand around at all of the food and people gathered there.
“Have joy.   God send sky man, Doog,” she stated pointing first into the sky and then to her heart.
I don’t blush often, but I’d give dollars to donuts I was blushing now.   It would seem that I was to be the guest of honor at big shindig.
There were only a few men in attendance and each, had women waiting on them hand and foot.   It looks like my initial estimate of the ratio of men to women might have been a little low.   Most of the men had about ten women, and it seems that everyone who had shared my and Meka’s bed were waiting on me, more than twenty of them.   Each with some culinary delight she offered to me.
Once, Meka urged me to eat one thing in particular, stating, “Good make love long. ”
I hope that meant it was like oysters or ginseng, and didn’t mean it would actually make my cock longer.   It looks like the women of the village were love starved and wanted me to stay virile so that more of them would be able to play merry go round on my Dick.

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“Why do all the women want sex so much?” I asked hoping that she had enough vocabulary to understand.
“Have many… ah… small mans,” she answered using her hands as though cradling a baby.
Whoa!  Cultural shock time, duh… there is no birth control in the jungle.   These women were all hoping to become pregnant, have my babies, and hoping for male ones at that.
Now I understand the worn-out look on these men’s faces, these women were fucking them to death.   What a way to go though.
I was, fed an unreal repast, and throughout the whole thing, girls were kissing, massaging, and just plain caressing me.   I was getting hotter than the surface of the sun.   When it looked like the festival was over, Meka and one other girl escorted me to the hut and fed me another chocolate mint.
I am becoming more, and more convinced that I died in that plane crash.   This just couldn’t be happening.
As I became stronger, I ventured out on my own to wander around the village.   I thought that I was on my own that is.   I wandered too close to the jungle one time and thirty or so women rushed over and surrounded me so they could escort me back to the hut where they jabbered to Meka for a few minutes.
“No go to jungle.

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    Dangerous,” she explained, “Bad bushes!”
There was that thing about the bushes again, “I see women go to the jungle.   Why not men?”
“Bush no like women,” she informed me.
Okay now we have a discriminating man eating bush, and only ‘man’, eating bush.   It seems that I am going to be, held prisoner as a sex slave to save me from a bush.   This is just too weird.
I’m going to have to formulate an escape plan to just get out of this village.   I’ll give it another week to get my stamina back and by then my leg should be back to normal, then if any bush makes a try for me I’ll be able to run away.
Over the next week, I watched which trails that the women used most frequently, and which ones looked like they were heading down hill out of the region.   Once I find a river eventually that should bring me to a city, then I could get transportation or a canoe or something that would get me back to the big world.
Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely grateful to Meka and this village for saving me, but I have a life I want to get back to.
I started being able to walk without the walking stick.   Since I, was only allowed to walk around within the confines of the village, I would walk faster and faster each day until the natives started to look at me as though I had lost my mind.
Once I started jogging around they seemed to catch on to the fact that I was just getting back into shape, and since the women wanted me to have as much stamina as possible they didn’t complain, in fact I was soon joined by a couple of unhappy looking native men.   It seems that my performance in bed had increased enough that the native women attributed it to my jogging and they nagged their men into joining me.   I don’t think I am very popular with my fellow males at this particular time.

 

  
Meka’s hut was starting to get crowded.   I was now sleeping with five women a night.   Always there was Meka, even when she was menstruating she slept with me, we didn’t make love, but she assisted in keeping me stimulated.   She would suck me off until I was near exploding and then ram me into one of the women to explode and deposit my seed.   Sometimes to make me horny she would lez one of the other girls, get her panting or screaming in orgasm, and Mr. Happy would want to play too.
Watching two girls lick and finger fuck each other was one of my all time turn ons, and it didn’t take those women long to figure that out.   I noticed one night that just outside of the screaming orgy going on in Meka’s hut, several women were masturbating to beat the band, and peeking into the tent once in a while, making them finger fuck themselves even harder.
One night it occurred to me to ask Meka why there were always different girls, but she was always with me too.
She blushed, saying, “You mine.   I get from jungle. ”
Uh oh… she thinks were married.
“We share men.   Is good,” she went on.
“How is it that you speak English?” I was finally curious after all of this time.

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“My father… no, mother was missionary.   Rescue from bush,” she tried to explain, but was clearly confused, “She teach. ”
That explains it.   I wasn’t the first one to find this little hamlet.   Some poor Peace Corps couple or minister and his wife wandered into the area and the evil bush must have eaten the man, leaving the woman stranded to live out her life here in the jungle.
I started questioning whether I even wanted to leave the village, which scared me into action.   I began by putting together a stash of food for my trip.   I had to get out of here before the great food and all of the sex convinced me this was heaven and that I didn’t want to leave it.
Finally, one evening after making my nightly sperm deposits, I stole out of the hut and tip toed to the edge of the jungle, where I would wait until the sun started peeking over the horizon before risking a walk into the domain of the evil man eating bush.
It was hard staying awake, but when you have to, the fear and adrenaline can do wondrous things.
I finally saw the first glow of morning, so I gathered up my stash and carefully moved farther into the hidden security of the surrounding jungle.
As it became lighter out, I felt much more assured as I strolled down the path the women had worn in the hill.   Man, this was beautiful, flowers, hanging moss, and the sweet smell of growing things everywhere, and not one dangerous looking plant anywhere.
Obviously, the women of the village were trying to keep all of the studs inside the village, happy, and healthy.   The story of the evil plant was, to gaslight them into not running away.

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I was at least a quarter mile from the village feeling that I had made good my escape, when I spotted a beautiful women just off to the side of the trail.   She was all dressed in white and looked like a buxom angel.
As I approached, she was motioning me to come closer.   She was such a beautiful vision of womanhood that I couldn’t resist.
When I was about four feet away, I could see that it wasn’t a real woman, more like a flower that looked like a woman.
“Oh shit!” I exclaimed as I turned to run.
The instant I turned around I felt a tentacle wrap around my ankles and I was on my way down, falling onto what looked to be a red velvet covered circular mattress.
More tendrils whipped out and I was trussed and sans clothing in mere moments.   As I struggled, writhing around naked on the red velvet, two other tendrils, unlike the ones that held me captive, whipped out and like twin suction cups, attached themselves to my nipples, and believe me they were sucking on them hard.   A third tentacle wriggled up my leg and clamped onto my cock.   Another up into my rectum and finally, one attached onto my face poking an internal tendril down my throat.   The red velvet mattress closed around me like a Venus flytrap and everything went dark.
I could feel juices oozing around me and I figured that they were digestive fluids and soon no one will find anything left of old foolish Doug, but his bones in a giant pea pod.
‘Oh my God, the plant is giving me a blow job!’ I thought, ‘It’s sucking my cock, my nipples and wriggling around in my ass!’
Air was being, supplied by the tendril in my mouth, so I wasn’t going to suffocate, ‘I needn’t worry about going that way, and this bush gives a great blowjob, ‘I’m going to cum!’ I realized.
That damn plant blew my brains out.

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    I lost consciousness after so many orgasms.
I would come around from time to time, only to be fucked unconscious a short while later.   That damn plant, kept me in ecstasy for days, not only did it supply air to me I think it was feeding me too.
I could feel the plant sucking on my nipples, only the longer it had me the more it turned me on.   I even began to feel like it was fucking me in two ass holes at one time, which might have worried me if I couldn’t feel it still sucking my cock!
Once between orgasms I started thinking to myself, ‘isn’t this plant going to eat me?  Is it just going to fuck me to death, and I go out in the most incredible orgasm imaginable?
After what felt like a month, but I’m sure was no more than a week, I could see light peeking into my velvet coffin and the juices that had surrounded me had all gone away.
Slowly the velvet bed opened up, I felt the tendrils release my cock and both of the others pull out of my butts.   The two on my nipples let go with a pop and a weird jiggle on my chest, and finally the tendril down my throat pulled out and I could breathe air on my own.
‘What the, hell happened?’ I thought, ‘the bush didn’t eat me, maybe I didn’t taste like the local natives and I was being spit out.   Halleluiah, I’m free!’
I began to stand up and my chest fell almost into my lap.
I looked, and then screamed, “I’ve got boobs!”
I reached up to confirm what my eyes were telling me and grasping a nipple, which elicited a moan from my lips… a high-pitched, girly moan.
“Oh my God, I’ve been emasculated,” my high-pitched cheerleader voice cried out.
I tried to stand and nearly fell over.   My center of gravity was way the hell off.   When I finally got my big butt into the air, I pulled my torso erect with much difficulty, causing an incredible tit quake.
I tried to quell my frantic mind, telling myself, “Okay, this bush turned you into a woman with huge boobs, get hold of yourself there are other concerns here, like you are a naked woman alone in the jungle and if you start running your boobs are going to bounce like I don’t know what.

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  ”
I started perambulating back toward the path, “Oh shit, everything wiggles, jiggles or wobbles, how do women deal with all of this motion?  I think I’m going to get sea sick. ”
I noticed scraps of my clothing all around the plant so I carefully picked up what I could, without getting too close to that, that… ooh I don’t know how to express my loathing of that bush.
I took my scraps and first fashioned a sort of bra to keep my monster boobs from bouncing around so much and then a loin cloth to cover my… my… my cunt!  Oh the degradation of it all.
I found my running shoes and was able to stuff bits of cloth into them to make them tight enough to tie onto my much tinier feet.   They looked like clown shoes on me now, two or three inches too long.   At least they protected my tender feet.
“Now that I look like a bustier version of Rachael Welch in 2000 BC, should I go back to the village or on to civilization?” I asked myself.
A tiny voice came to me through the trees, “Doog, Doog!  Where you Doog?”
I could tell it was Meka, looking for me, “Over here Meka!”  I couldn’t let her not find me.   She must have been searching for the whole time I was missing.   I could hear the tiredness in her tiny voice.   It broke my heart to think of what I had done to her, and here she faithfully searches for me in the dangerous jungle.   I’m slug spit!
“Where you Doog?” she called.
“Over here Meka,” I called back in my cheerleader voice.
“Oh Doog, bush got you,” she stated, as she approached and threw her arms around me, “poor Doog. ”  She held me tightly and squished my boobs wide between us as she consoled me.

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“I’m sorry Meka.   I wanted to go home.   I didn’t want to leave you.   It was very hard.   Can you forgive me,” I cried.
“I sorry too Doog.   You miss home,” she stopped, and shuddered a little as she too cried, “I should have help you go. ”
That stopped me short.   “What do you mean help me go?” I asked pulling back a little.
“I take you to big village.   Can go home,” she explained, “I no want have no Doog,” she wailed.
I’m such a pig.   This wonderful girl loves me so much and I abandon her, thinking only of my needs.
“I am sorry Meka.   I wanted to take you along.

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    Although, I did not want to take you from your home or your family,” I explained.   I really wanted Meka but I thought it would be selfish to take her from her people, little did I know that it was selfish and wrong not to at least say goodbye.
“I stay with Doog?” she asked me.
“Meka, I am a woman now.   You, still want to stay with, me?” I asked incredulously.
“I love Doog.   Woman, man, I love Doog,” she clutched me as if she was afraid that I would evaporate if she let go.
“You, want to go to my country and give all of this up?” I tried to confirm her dedication.
“I go with Doog!” she stated emphatically, leaving no room for misunderstanding.
“I love you Meka,” I told her.
“Come we go Doog house,” she stated emphatically.
I was instantly puzzled and figured that it was a language thing.   She took my hand and led me down the trail.
We walked for perhaps a quarter mile and came upon an ancient Mayan ruin, “Come Doog, we go home!”
I started thinking that she wanted to set up housekeeping in, ‘This Ole Ruin’.
She led me into one of the inner chambers and said, “Stay here Doog.

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  ”
I waited while I saw her waving her hands and arms strangely in another room.
She returned and said, “We go now,” and took my hand.   She walked us right up to a stone wall, then right through it and into my apartment.
“Holy shit!” I exclaimed.
Meka looked, alarmed, “This is Doog home?”
“Oh my lord, yes!  Meka how… how did you…” I stuttered, looking at her as if she had three heads.
“Meka not Earth,” she told me, confusing me even more.   She continued, “Bush not Earth either. ”
My mouth was open far enough that my jaw drug on the floor, “You, are not from Earth?”
She smiled and clapped her hands, “Yes, Meka not Earth. ”
“I, was not on Earth?” I asked hesitantly.
She smiled and jumped up and down happily clapping again, “Doog right. ”
I smiled and fainted dead away.
**********.