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Gay
2003-07-13

But again, afterward I felt ashamed and embarrassed. This time I was mad at myself, too, because I had already said that I would never do it again. I could not understand why I had given in so easily. All I knew was that as soon as I got there this time, my dick got hard just at the thought of what had happened the previous time, and then I started to rationalize that I’d already done it once, so what did it matter if I did it one more time? The next thing I know we’re going at it. It was all very confusing. The worst thing was that the same rationalization kept working. It was like, I had already broken the seal by committing the act, so what difference did it make if I did it again? Was two times worse than one time? Not in my mind – at least not when my dick was hard and we were alone. After the third or fourth time we dropped all pretenses that we were planning to do anything else. We’d have a beer, split a joint, and then open our pants and grab each other’s dicks. After we’d both shot our load, we’d zip up our pants, light another joint, and pretend nothing had happened. I don’t remember exactly how long we stayed with this routine, but one day something weird came over me and I decided that I wanted to touch my lips to his dick while I was jerking him off. Of course, it did not stop there – I ended up sucking his dick. I remember being surprised when he came in my mouth because I’d only made about two passes up and down his shaft. I spit out his come, but the odd taste of it stayed with me for what seemed like a week. That was the last time I truly remember being freaked out by what I was doing. It grossed me out but at the same time the taboo of what I had done turned me on incredibly.

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   I didn’t know it yet, but I was hooked. To my surprise, once I had sucked dick I could not get it out of my mind. I wanted to do it again the very next day, and sure enough I did. I did it again the day after that – and then the day after that. I think I probably sucked his dick a dozen times before he did it to me. Once he finally did it though, he got hooked on it, too. I was not surprised because I knew how fucking cool it felt to do it; I was already obsessed with the act of wrapping my lips around a dick and then sucking up and down on it until I’d managed to tease it into an orgasm. What’s more, I found I loved the erotic sensation of a cock pumping its load in my mouth. In later years I discovered that this did not just apply to Nate and me. I eventually came to the conclusion that if any guy gets a taste of some dick, pretty soon he wants more dick. For example, one drunken night in college I managed to coerce my totally straight roommate into touching his lips to my dick by convincing him that he was not really “experienced” unless he’d had a dick touch his mouth at least once. He fell for it, and just like my first time, he was not able to stop at just a touch. He ended up letting my entire dick push into his mouth, and then began clumsily drawing his lips up and down the shaft. It felt terrific, but just before I came, he pulled his head away and I had to finish it off with my hand. He looked stunned afterward, and immediately disappeared into the bathroom.

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   For about a week after that it was uneasy between us, but the very next weekend he came home drunk and ended up sucking my dick – this time to the blissful conclusion. He even swallowed. He’s married now and he and I both had girlfriends at the time, but once he’d had a taste of the dick he could not put it down. We sucked each other off pretty regularly until the end of the year when we went home. The next year we lived in different apartments but still got together just to pole smoke every once in a while. Anyway, back to me and Nate. Pretty soon we got tired of going all the way back to our hideout, so we started doing it at Nate’s house whenever his Mom wasn’t there, which was pretty often because she worked until six. After school his little sister was usually there, but we always went to the attic and locked the door so she couldn’t get in. There was a couch and an old mattress in the attic, which worked out perfectly. I remember that Nate was the one who wanted to try anal sex. I saw no reason to do it because I liked sucking dick well enough. But he was persistent. Finally one day he stopped in the middle of sucking my dick. He pulled off his pants, turned around, and put my dick between his ass cheeks. I was in no position to protest as he put my dickhead right against his asshole and then sat on my dick.

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   As soon as it pushed into his hole, I was in heaven. I can’t even describe how euphoric it felt when the first time I came inside him. After that we mostly fucked when we were in his attic, and sucked anywhere else. I don’t know how we made it through high school let alone get into college, especially considering that we both got girlfriends senior year. He dropped out of college and married his high school girlfriend. We never told anyone about what we used to do in high school, and as far as I know neither of us has since. We drifted apart once we went to college. I still bump into him occasionally when I’m back in my hometown, but we never talk about it. Since I’ve been married, I’ve only had gay sex on the rare occasion that I happen to bump into somebody that I did it with before I was married. My wife does not know about it and I’m sure she would not understand. But I still enjoy fantasizing about my early days with Nate. .