- A BAD DATE -After another lousy-ass date I made it home a good two hours earlier than expected, and a bit drunker than planned. Right off David, my date, reminded me of my ex, well-dressed, manicured, decent looking, and I should have ran. Actually I should have never sat at the table. When he opened with, “You must be Sylvia, I’m David, and this is one of David’s favorite restaurants,’ I should’ve said, “Sorry, I’m Jan, and I’m looking for Ken,’ it would’ve been the smart move. Instead I sat, and he says, “Hear you’re a lawyer, David is a lawyer too, estate planning, have you got someone already?” It was a blind date courtesy of one of my co-workers, who just got put on a payback list. Politely tell him my ex-husband took care of that, and he tells me, “Don’t know if you were told, but David is hung quite nicely. Would you like something to drink?”I’ve heard a few bad opening lines, but this… horrific, inane one just shot to the top of the list, as did my co-worker’s name. Had to wonder if that one ever worked, and if it did what did he catch from it? “You know,” was going to tell him I hoped it was big enough to go screw himself, but instead said, “Pina colada, double please. ”He is going on and on about David, staring at my tits, and it wasn’t like I was flaunting them. Wearing a mid-sleeve flower print blouse, just the top button undone, and only a full ‘C’ cup, you had to try hard to get a little titty shot, but he was giving it his best effort. Red skirt just above my knee his chance at a panty shot was just as unlikely, but he was still taking peeks when I wasn’t looking. This was just a causal dinner and drinks, I wasn’t about to dress like I was on the clock, and he didn’t have enough money for that from me. As he yammered on I pound my drink, then half-close my eyes, hoping the alcohol daze will turn this insect into a human, but no such luck. Think I hear him say he didn’t like kids, and have to ask, “Pardon me?” I had a twenty-month old son at home, which Pat knew. “David is not good with kids, and David cannot be in the same room with a baby. Would you like David to get you another drink?”“Oh, most definitely,” I tried to smile, while forcing myself to keep my hands from going for his throat, “the same will be fine.
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” Pat was dead, first thing Monday I was going to kill her, and it would be justifiable, setting me up with this piece of–“Sylvia, she wants to know a double or triple?”Our waitress must know David, and I smiled, “Triple, thank you, Lila. ” * * *- AN EX-HUSBAND -Fresh out of law school I landed a great job with one of the bigger firms, and for nearly a year I was working decent cases. My progress reports were fine, but after my yearly I was put on trash detail, and expected to keep up my billable hours. Everybody I talked to said this was standard procedure, but I wasn’t buying it. I had no idea how I was going to get a decent quarterly report, and thought my career was in the toilet. You heard stories, of this cutthroat business, one bad report, and you were on a fast track downward. Worse yet, everyone knows it, and you become a social leper, even the interns think it might be catching, and you can get no one to help you out. After my expected abysmal quarterly, Dwayne, a named partner, called me in, and I was braced for the lecture, or firing, intent on not whining. Instead he tells me he has some things he wants me to work with him personally on, but it might mean long hours. Without a second thought I jumped all over it. The work wasn’t bad, and we did a lot during lunch and dinner, in some very nice restaurants. After hours we went over things in clubs, some very exclusive clubs, and shopping for things to have me wearing in these fancy clubs. This was all new to me, needing a scholarship I spent my young life studying, not even really dating in high school, and only had three boyfriends in college. Taking a full load, summer classes and never pledging fidelity to any I wouldn’t even count them as boyfriends. There were a handful of one-night stands, but two we never even knew the other’s name.
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Barely twenty-five I was immediately in awe of this man and his clout, not to mention how fast my wardrobe was expanding. Didn’t have a daddy fixation, or was thinking a money angle, just having fun, very elite fun, for the first time. He was older and… Well, rich and wasn’t afraid to show it. Tailored clothes, chauffeured limousine, weekly trips to a salon, monthly trips to a spa, and memberships in three exercise clubs made him look, and kept him looking, impressive. Speaking four languages fluently, twice as many so-so, knowing the best foods to eat and finest wines to drink, cigars to smoke, and women to date made him even more impressive. He did have an annoying habit of wanting things just so, and had no trouble taking one to task when it wasn’t. Also infamous for his temper and doing what was needed to win. Having one of the sharpest legal minds in the country, and incredible political connections it was more than mere looks, he had power, and wasn’t afraid to wield it. Tanned, fit, charming, and single he was one of the most eligible bachelors in the state. Needless to say, he got in my panties, and by no means were we exclusive, but it was even more fun, then the accident occurred. His condom broke, I had been too busy to make my gynecologist appointment and was off the pill for a month, but no big deal, he always wore protection. Now, I had a problem. Dwayne was great about it, happy we were having a baby, even married me. It was his third, no children, and naturally my first. Nothing really changed, our weeklong Hawaiian honeymoon was cut to three days, including travel time, and we were back at work.
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Being pregnant I didn’t go out with him as much, but he always had an escort, claiming them to be clients and part of the job. Seeing as nothing else changed I couldn’t see us being exclusive now, and never complained. He treated me well, made sure I didn’t need anything before going out, and always had plenty of his staff there for me if need be. After my first trimester my doctor insisted I quit work, and I got everything ready for the baby. Had not been married four months when I personally caught Dwayne for the fifth, no sixth time cheating. As a little bonus I got a nice piece of jewelry every time I caught him, but we never talked about it. First five times were with one or the other of his secretaries, twice with his personal secretary Sally, who had to be in her mid-fifties, although good-looking and she had a decent body. Both times he was in a corset and fishnets, which got me a complete matching set of jewelry, necklace, earrings, and bracelet. First diamond and sapphires, second diamond and emeralds, again with nothing being said on what I had seen, and no apology. Sixth time I should have known something was up when Sally wasn’t at her desk, then I walk in and find him with a pair of interns. Secretaries were no big deal around here, and it was company policy, a man works long hours he might need a sexual release, and it was in the secretary’s unwritten job description. Of course nailing interns wasn’t exactly a rare thing around here either, most the time they didn’t even need to be asked. Although this time it was a bit different, I came over after a doctor’s appointment and found Dwayne’s mouth and ass full of intern. Twins with matching thick nine-inch cocks, both buried to the balls in my husband. Obviously this was not his first time.
Another named partner had recently been found with another intern’s dick in his mouth, and everyone was worried about losing work. But, all we lost was an intern; who is doing quite well, sitting on some Caribbean beach, not a care in the world. I cleared my throat. “Ah, do you want to know if it’s a boy or a girl?”All he said was, “Thought you were at the doctors. ” Shaking my head I turned to leave. “Honey, I’ll be done in a minute. ”“It is a boy. But, go ahead take your time,” I gave him a backhanded wave, “I’ll be home packing my things. ”Wasn’t pissed, not in the least, wasn’t even surprised, well maybe a bit at it being men. I had seen most of the women he escorted about town, and they put me to shame. After our first month of sex I hadn’t been getting much, and I just thought the secretaries or female interns were getting my share. Wasn’t pissed at that either, because he wasn’t very good, and I had toys. Plenty of them, and after all these years I was good with them. No, I just drove home and started packing my clothes, jewelry, and toys, prepared to leave as soon as I was finished, wasn’t even going to write a note. An hour after I left his office a package came, by limo, addressed to me.
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Handing it to me Jeff, his personal driver smiled. “I’m to wait, Miss. ”“Ah, fine, come in,” I stepped back, “like something to drink, Jeff?”“No thank you. ” He gave me a little head bob. “I’ll wait here in the hall, Miss Sylvia. ”Opened it there in the foyer, envelop held a sixty thousand dollar check and a divorce settlement, both in my name. Dwayne was giving me as much custody of the baby I wanted, but he would like visitation rights, set by me. Even stranger, no family court, or even arbitrator involved. In addition I was to receive twelve thousand a month until the baby was eighteen, unless he was in college, along with a house, and full medical benefits for both of us. The sixty thousand was quite obviously for the first five months of my pregnancy. He had three requests, first, a paternity test as soon as the baby was born. That pissed me off a tad, seeing as I wasn’t the one sleeping around, including before he stuck his little dick in me. Second, I couldn’t live more than half an hour from his main residence. If he moved, I moved, all expenses paid for by him. Third, I name the baby after his father, Joseph, or if a girl, Josephine.
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Typical, dumb bastard, knowing all those languages, and he didn’t even hear what I told him. More likely he handed this off to the interns, while he cleaned up. Naturally, all this would be void if I breathed one word of this to anyone. Didn’t say he would take Joseph away from me, but Dwayne didn’t like losing, and I couldn’t win against him. Without a second of hesitation I signed the document, and handed it to the limo driver. “There you go, thank you Jeff, for waiting. ”“No Miss,” Jeff put the document inside his jacket, “I’m here to take you to your new home, your car will be driven over later. Where are the bags, Miss Sylvia?”He drove me twenty minutes away to a light brownish-blue house, with dark greenish-blue trim, no doubt my prick ex- got for a song, because the color scheme was terrible. Inside wasn’t much better and the decorator had to have been color-blind, or just plain blind. But the neighborhood was nice, clean, and house good-sized. Surprised it was furnished, with decent furniture, even a playground and spa in the large backyard. By the time Jeff had my things out of the limo my car was here. “Hope you are happy here, Miss. A meal from Angela’s shall be arriving at five. ” Jeff handed me a slip of paper.
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“At seven call this number. Good-bye Miss Sylvia, you were a pleasure to work for, a splendid lady in every sense of the word, and my favorite person, as well as the rest of the staff’s. I’m truly sorry. ”“Thank you Jeff, you did a splendid job, as always. Sorry for what?”“Good day Miss, call that number, please. ”He left, nothing more was said. Right off I picked up the phone, and wasn’t surprised it had a dial tone. My name being on the I. D. was a tad strange, but I didn’t think anything of it. I unpacked, then answered the door for the deliveryman. Wasn’t hungry, just sat staring at the phone, looked down at the paper, with just a phone number on it, back at the phone, wondering what the hell was going on. Woke this morning not a care in the world, pregnancy was fine, always was, and I had no idea why the doctor wanted me to quit work. Eleven hours later everything had gone to hell. Phone clock turned to seven double ‘0’ and I dialed the number.
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Sally, his personal secretary answered, “Sylvia, listen, just listen, you were set up from the beginning, don’t sign anything. Dwayne needed a namesake for his father, or he doesn’t inherit one hundred-twenty million dollars, and the old man was given two years at the most, ten months ago. I’m–”“Sally,” I cut her off, “already signed the papers. ”“Oh honey, I’m so sorry. He’d had my head if I said anything earlier, and I couldn’t chance it at work. ” There was silence on the other end. “See an attorney, but I’ll never repeat this, and the number is a payphone. ”“Ah Sally,” I couldn’t wrap my head around this, “what do you mean the beginning?”“I mean,” she hissed, “since your yearly evaluation. Dwayne is the one who put you on trash detail. You were targeted because you have no money to back you against him, half that money is yours. Better this way, you might have had an accident after the baby was–”“What the hell does that mean?” Sally didn’t say anything. “Are we talking murder?”“That’s all I can say about it. I’ve no proof, but I’ve worked with him a long time and know the people he knows. Just be careful, dear, very careful. ” There was a pause.
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“Sylvia, I never had sex with him. I beat his ass and humiliated him, that’s all. ”“Thank you, for telling me this. ” I sat there a second or two, then added, “Sally, next time beat his ass for me, preferably with a piece of barbed wire. ”“I will Sylvia, promise. I’m sorry, good luck. I’ll try to help out in the future, but don’t count on me to ever testify, I have family to take care of. Sylvia, I’m truly sorry. ”Phone went dead, and I sat there trying to visualize sixty million, even wrote it out on the paper. But why, because Dwayne was right, I still owed twenty thousand in student loans, and I’d never see one cent of that sixty million. Sure I could get another sleaze-ball lawyer to fight my sleaze-ball lawyer husband, for eternity, but how would I live. Now I was pissed at the cock-sucker, then giggled, because I wasn’t mad he was sucking cock, hell, I did that, just mad because he was a cock-sucker. Deep down I wasn’t surprised, from the beginning I knew this guy did anything and everything to get what he was after. Had to wonder why he just didn’t get a surrogate, or– “Stupid!” I slapped my forehead. “He doesn’t like to share,” I said aloud.
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Never even saw his checkbook, much less one of his bank statements. I kept mine, for our relationship I didn’t think it was that big of deal. It finally dawned on me, that prick would have killed me, and had one hundred-twenty million reasons why. Kept telling myself no way, it was impossible, but remembering his cold caresses and lifeless kisses I knew better. Now I had five months, well at least four to find some protection for me, or it might still happen. Was easier than I thought, after cashing his check I called up Dwayne the next day, and was surprised he took the call. “Know what you did, played me from the beginning, knocked me up, your dad, the money, all of it, and do not, repeat do not care. ”“Really?” Dwayne snorted, “Then why am I talking to you?”“Because I don’t want anything happening to me after Joseph is born. ”“Sylvia, don’t get all dramatic on me, it was a simple business negotiation, nothing personal. ” Dwayne cleared his throat.
“Who told you this fanciful bullshit?”I wanted to tell him he was right, there wasn’t anything personal, cold-hearted prick. But kept my head, and played what I was dealt, a fact of life my father taught me. “Your partners drink too much and talk too much, while trying to get in my panties every time I see them. ”“Come on Sylvia,” he laughed, “that’s just business too, a little one-upmanship. ”Callous prick, and his cronies.
“Dwayne, I have it all documented, and sent it like a damn chain letter. Anything happens to me, and a hundred get mailed off the first week, probably two hundred the second, and you get the picture. I took some of that check and hired five private detective agencies all over the state, to keep an eye on me every so often, and look for my obit or name in the news. I vanish, someone is going to take notice, and start looking. ”“There’s nothing to this Sylvia, nothing. ” Dwayne took a deep breath. “It’s all in your head. I don’t need to harm you because…” It went quiet. “Sylvia, are you taping this?”“Come on Dwayne,” I hissed, “you think I’ve lived with you long enough your sleazy tricks have rubbed off on me?” There was no answer. “No Dwayne, I’m not taping this. ”“Fine, but lets say hypothetically I wished to harm you, I would never have to resort to murder, not the mother of my child. ”“Right, your concern for me goes as far as me having the child, the end. ” I knew there was more. “So, hypothetically what would happen?”“Hypothetically?” Dwayne drummed a pencil on his desk, a definite tell he was debating on rather to reveal his complete strategy. “Alexander case, jury tampering, I’ve key evidence to the guilty party, and it wouldn’t be good for you.
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In fact I can about guarantee you spending every cent your family has to just get ten years in a federal prison, for each count. See Sylvia, I wouldn’t have to worry about you for, with good behavior fifteen, twenty years, and who knows what kind of accident you might have in a place like that. ”I remembered the case, and had interviewed a bunch of people, most who had nothing to do with the case. “Dwayne, I had very little to do with the case. ”“True, but it takes very little to get a conviction. ” He paused. “Sylvia, I’ll double your severance deal, but that’s as far as I go. ”He was right, and I had given some of those people a paper explaining who and what I was doing. But, a picture of me handing them something, and even a forged canceled check I was totally screwed. “No, the original deal is fine. ” I didn’t want to push him, and didn’t want any part of him, or his millions. Already had taken three baths trying to get his slimy feel off me, and I’d need another one or two after this phone call. “I’ll never fight you over a red cent, and will sign anything you want saying as much. You honor that paper, and your son, by putting him in your will, I don’t care if it’s for a tenth of your estate, just something. Dwayne, I just don’t want to be harmed, I’m no threat unless you make me one.
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”“Alright Sylvia, was just hypothetical, and you know I’d rather make a deal. So, it’s done, I’ll have a document drawn up in an hour. ”“Good, oh Dwayne, I think you might really grow fond of this boy, I truly hope so. Hope he even turns you half human. But know this, he turns eighteen, I’m not there and he’ll get a copy of what his father truly is. That’s not hypothetical, you fuc–”“Sylvia,” Dwayne cut in politely, “you’ve made your point. Swear to you, on my soul, I’ll never harm you. And to show you there are no hard feelings, what did you spend setting this all up? I’ll reimburse you. ”Wanted to tell him he didn’t have a soul to swear on, lost it long ago, but he’d just agree. “Ten thousand, but I just want you off my ass, and me not looking over my back. Will never be a problem, just want to raise our son. ”“Done, cashier’s check will be with the document. Again I apologize for you taking it personal, just business, a tactical decision. ”Fuck! I wanted to spit in his face. “I don’t take it personal, good-bye Dwayne.
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” Amazingly I didn’t cry, not a tear, spit on, or at the phone a bit, then went and took a hot bath. * * *Dwayne left me alone, but so did everyone else. I couldn’t get an interview with any firm, much less a job. Told my family and everyone else, we had nothing really in common. My dad was a dad. “Don’t give a shit how much money he had, Princess, he was an asshole, and an old one at that. You can do a lot better. ” He owned a plumbing supply in San Diego, my mother was bookkeeper there before they married, and they had me when they were in their late thirties. “Honey,” my mom got on the extension, “did you kick him in the nuts? Because your father will fly out and do it, no problem. Be there on the next flight. ”“Mom thanks, but keep dad there. I’m fine, and I don’t want Joey growing up having complications over all this. ”“That’s very smart, baby,” mom had to add, “but if I see him, I’ll kick him in the nuts. ”“Mom, no kicking, and I doubt you could hit them. ”“Good one honey, useless prick was he?”“Mom, behave.
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” I took a deep breath. “Listen, I need you to do something for me. ”“Anything, baby. ”“That’s right Princess,” dad said, “name it. ”“If you ever do run into Dwayne, not a word. I walked out on him, and do not need this complicated, and definitely do not need a legal battle. You’ll probably never see him, but if you do, ignore him, got it?”“Yes baby,” there was a pause from my mom, “just crossed my heart sweetie. ”“He’s a dickhead–”“Bill, promise. ”“Fine, fine!” My dad sighed. “Princess, swear, if I see him I’ll ignore the dickhead. ”I had Joey, two months later Dwayne’s father died, and he became filthy rich, or double filthy rich, seeing as he was already rich. Dwayne didn’t bother me and Jeff drove a nanny over to pick up Joey now and then. I told the prick the only limit I put on him seeing the baby, he had to be there. None of this being with the damn nanny all weekend, because it was his time. He agreed, and like I figured he didn’t see Joey much.
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Four months after the birth I took a part-time job at some ambulance-chasing firm, best I could do, but it might save my sanity. Didn’t need the money, because Dwayne’s was plenty, seeing as I didn’t have a champagne appetite when it came to anything. First thing I did on the job was write up a tactical battle plan on how I would attack my dating situation, or lack thereof. I had a two-page checklist of red flags, then re-arranged them in order of their offensiveness. Being a criminal lawyer, and thorough, I started off with child molester, then murderer as my top two don’ts. Over the coming months priorities changed, and the list was revised, or I had such a lousy date things were added to my list. * * *All this came back to me as this David had been droning on about David. In my head he was Donkey-Dick Dave, and I snickered every time he said David, which was a lot. I swear I wanted to drive a stake through his heart, instead I ordered my third pina colada. Grinning Lila sighed, “Another triple, dear?”Gulping away at my drink I sat there thinking number one on the list was now going to be men who referred to themselves in the first person. David must have thought David was going to get lucky the way I was chugging drinks, and David ordered another. Obviously this line of prattle had worked well on Pat, and my anger was re-focused on her. This guy was a moron, not much of an excuse, but there wasn’t much you could do about that. Her on the other hand, set me up knowing this guy was a moron. I don’t care if his tailor had to make three-legged slacks, and my orgasmic screams shattered glass, it wasn’t worth it.
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Was debating on how I would kill her, then I see Pat pulling up in a cab. “Excuse, I need to use the ladies’ room. ” Halfway there I thought about just putting men at the number one don’t. Now I had Pat to contend with, and I was pretty sure I knew why she was here. Sitting there peeing it comes to me, all the rum in the Caribbean wasn’t going to salvage this evening, and I didn’t need to wake up hung-over, or in bed with those two. So, I killed two birds with one stone and called a cab. Hope David gave David my drink, or better yet shoved it up David’s ass, then Pat’s. I come out of the bathroom, and Lila is waiting for me. “Hi honey, use the side door, he’ll never see you, her neither. ” She handed me a napkin. “Home number sweetie, if you ever want to go out on a real date, and have a good time, give me a call. ”“Ah,” besides the number her name was only thing on the napkin, “I’m not gay, or bi. ”“Yeah sure?” She was an inch taller than me, muscular build, short blonde hair, good-looking. Lila ran her finger down my cheek. “Are you really sure?”“Yeah,” I snickered, “pretty sure.
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”“Um-m,” she looked me over, and licked her full lips, “wouldn’t mind putting that to the test, anytime, anywhere, and I’ll guarantee you plenty of pleasure. ”“Well, thank you, I’ll think about it. ” I put the napkin in my purse. “Oh, and thank you for helping me escape from him and her. ”“You mean Dave-Dave and Pat the maniac groper, if you know what I mean?” She laughed, at Pat’s favorite saying. “Just saving Paulo from cleaning up a mess. Your date is known for wearing as many meals as he eats here, and she tends to create disturbances in the bathrooms, she likes it public. If she’s still here at closing, she’ll do everyone. Hell, I’ve seen her do more than a dozen plenty of times, and never miss a drop. She likes getting double-teamed while eating pussy. Dave-Dave gets her cast-offs, but would score a lot more if he just didn’t talk. ” Lila pointed. “Your cab is here, sweetheart, give me a call when you want that answer. ”“Don’t need an answer, I’m not gay. ”* * *-to be continued-Be sure to check out the forums for more great stories http://www.
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