Topic: Memories - part 1: My first kissI am 23 now but this story began almost 18 years ago. It is a love story and one that continues today. My uncle (though I barely think of him as uncle now) reads all that I write, helps with editting when his memory is better than mine. If readers enjoy and want then it will become a long narration with many parts. The start is by neccesity a little slow but is neccesary to set the scene for later uncle often used to look after my sister and I when our parents went out for an evening. Other people would babysit us sometimes but sis and I always preferred uncle. He was always kind and would play games with us, something that our father would not often do. I remember I had just turned nine and talk among my friends at school had turned toward boyfriends and kissing. We would assess the boys in our class as to whether they were handsome or not and tease each other about who wanted to kiss who and such like. One of my friends asked me who I thought was handsome and immediately my uncle came into my mind. I told her my uncle was handsome, but that was a mistake as she told others and soon I was being teased with taunts like "Sarah loves her uncle", "Sarah wants to kiss her uncle" and so forth. It was a relief to get to the end of that day, go home and get away from it. The girls never forgot though and so next day it started all over again. Hearing this all day did get me thinking about uncle though. He was in his forties and single since his marriage had broken up some years ago. In the time since, he never seemed to have a girlfriend.
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He is a tall, slim man and I did indeed think he was handsome to my young mind. He smoked heavily and I suddenly thought that kissing him would probably be horrible because of the smell of the smoke. I surprised myself, here I was thinking about kissing my uncle. I had never kissed anyone other than my parents on the cheek and here I was contemplating kissing someone else for the first time and it was my uncle. Despite thinking of his smoking and how horrid that might taste, I could not get the thought out of my mind for the next few days. Friday came around and school finished and mother as usual picked my sister and I up from school. On the drive home she told us that father and she were going out tonight and that uncle would be looking after us for the evening. My sis and I both yelled "Hooray" and my heart was suddenly racing. All the teasing and my thoughts all week were going through my mind. My sister was excited and chattered away as she always did when uncle was coming round, not doubt at the prospect of playing games and being allowed to stay up later than usual. I should say that my sis is two years younger than I. While she chattered I sat quietly lost in my thoughts, heart racing, nervous and excited all at the same time. I must have been quiet because mum even asked if I was ok. Why was my mind racing through all my thoughts of the week? What was happening to me?The next couple of hours passed so slow, my mind racing, my heart pounding. Twice my mother asked if I was sure I was all right.
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Finally we heard the sound of uncles’ car coming up the drive. Little sis rushed out to give him a hug and say hello as she always did. Sometimes I would do this too but today I found myself rooted to the spot, my heart pounding harder still, if that was possible. I even felt jealous of my sis hugging uncle. Sis came running back inside, followed by uncle who greeted mum, his sister, and said "Hi Sarah, how are you going?" to me. I muttered "Fine. " and nothing more. Mum proceeded to tell uncle that I had been acting strange ever since coming out of school today and she didn't know what was up with me. Uncle just batted it off and said that I was probably just tired from a hard day at school. Mum and uncle then seemed to forget about me and talked of other things. Mum was in the middle of preparing dinner so she and uncle chatted in the kitchen. The kitchen was open to the dining area and I sat at the table from where I could see uncle. Uncle had tossed his jacket off and just wore an old shirt and what he called his weekend trousers, a scruffy pair of loose fitting track type pants. Uncle never noticed me watching him as he talked so I was free to look at him and continue my imaginings. He did look handsome to me and I noticed that he had shaved today, he didn't always.
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As I noted that he had shaved I also looked at his mouth and my thoughts again swung to kissing. I realised then that I did not care so much that he smoked, I just looked at his lips and imagined what it would be like for them to kiss mine. At one point uncle came over to me, put his hand on my shoulder and asked what I was up to. I just muttered "nothing" and he wandered back to the kitchen. The feeling of his hand on my shoulder had made my heart leap and it seemed I could still feel it long after he had walked away. I liked it and felt that it had made up a little for not hugging him earlier. In time mum asked sis and I if we wanted to come with her and pick up dad or stay with uncle. We both yelled out that we were staying and off she went. Uncle came into the lounge and sat on the sofa, asking what we were up to. Uncle always sat in the middle of the sofa, our lounge consisted of a sofa and two arm chairs. The arm chairs were where mum and dad sat so often sis and I would be sat either side of uncle on the sofa. When we sat this way uncle always had an arm round each of us. Sis immediately jumped on the sofa and snuggled up beside him. I again felt the jealousy as he put his arm around her and asked her what she wanted to do tonight. Sis of course asked if we could play a game as she always did and uncle of course asked what game she wanted to play.
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Sis said "I'll show you" and bolted off the couch and out the room to find the board-game she had in mind. While she was gone, uncle spoke to me. "What about you Sarah? What do you want to do?" I just said that playing a game would be good. Uncle then asked "Aren't you going to sit with me today?" and patted the seat beside him. I really wanted to sit by him but for some reason I was afraid to, as if sitting by him would reveal to him all that I had been thinking the last few days. "Come on Sarah. Come and sit by your uncle. " As if in a dream state I said "Ok" and slowly moved over to sit beside but away from him, not touching. As soon as I had sat down his arm snaked around me and he dragged me close to him. We sat hip to hip with his hand resting on my other outer hip. "That’s better. " he said as sister came bounding back in the room clutching a game. "This one uncle, this one" she exclaimed. "What about you Sarah" uncle asked "Do you want to play that game?" I replied ok and sis sat on the ground to begin unpacking it. "Remember, we have to have dinner and let your mum and dad go out before we play though.
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" uncle explained but sis carried on setting the game up anyway. So uncle and I sat on the couch while sis readied the game. I don't know why I had felt afraid to sit by uncle but now that I was here I was happy. I was very aware of his hand resting on my hip, every little movement or squeeze as he spoke. I sat there, hands clutched together in front of my chest and must have looked stupid but inside my heart was racing and I felt wonderful. As uncle chattered away to sis, and I cuddled beside him, I realised that I was looking straight down into his lap and furthermore that my eyes were making out the outline of his package. My friends and I had talked of boys penises at times and I had seen my father in the shower before. I knew that penises where something that boys had, somehow were involved in sex and making babies but had never really thought much more about them than that. Yet here I was looking at uncles package and thinking that it looked bigger than dads'. For some reason I felt happy at the thought that uncle had a bigger penis than dad, though of course I did not know that for sure. I got a bit self conscious of where I was looking and tried to look away but invariably my eyes would flick back for a glance at all too regular an interval. Uncle never even noticed, he just carried on chatting with sis and squeezing me to him occasionally. Sis finished with her game preparation and jumped up on the other side of uncle and she too got an arm about her. This was how we were as mum and dad walked in, nothing unusual there, they had seen this many times before. While mum finished preparing dinner, dad and uncle talked.
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In time mum called sis and I to ready the table for dinner and I left the side of uncle. Dinner came and went and mum and dad readied themselves for their night out. Seemingly forever passed but finally they left for the night with final words of being good for uncle and not staying up too late. Uncle, sis and I sat down on the floor to play the board-game. My mind was only half on the game but it was still wonderful to be near to uncle and doing something with him. The game finished eventually and sis wanted to play another but uncle explained that it was getting late so maybe we should watch some TV before bedtime. That meant of course that we would be back on the sofa and I would never have complained about that. Uncle suggested that we get into our pyjamas and clean our teeth before watching so that we could just pop off to bed when we felt tired. Sis immediately peels her clothes off right there in the lounge and gets into her pyjamas. Though I had done the same many times in front of uncle without another thought, this time I felt reluctant and so got changed in my bedroom. I remember wondering as I put my nightie on if uncle would think it was pretty. I felt quite shy as I walked back through the lounge to the bathroom but this shyness was unnecessary as sis was way ahead of me and charged past, having cleaned her teeth to jump up by uncle and ask what was on TV. Returning after cleaning my teeth I again felt a pang of jealousy to see sis cuddled up to uncles right, his arm draped around her. As I walked in front of them to sit on his left, I could see sis's panties under her little nightie and so became conscious of keeping my own nightie hem down as I again sat beside but apart from him, only once again to have his long arm drape across me and feel myself pulled tight in against him. So the three of us sat in front of TV, I realised that though I could see sis's panties as I walked in front of her, they were not visible while sitting.
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Somehow I felt happy that uncle could not see her panties. I didn't want uncle to see her panties, just mine. I startled myself with such a crazy thought but like it not, there was the thought and it would not go away. Thoughts of panties also drew my eyes back to uncles' package and I seemed to look at that more than the program on the TV as if I wanted to etch the image into my mind forever. I also was not comfortable with sis still being there, I wanted uncle all to myself and hoped that she would go to bed soon as she normally went before me. It seemed like forever but finally sis declared that she was tired and going to bed. She gave uncle a hug, said good night to me and left for bed. To my disappointment uncle got up and went outside for a cigarette and I was left counting down the moments until he returned. I must have adjusted my nightie and where to place my hands a hundred times while he was outside, trying to sit in the prettiest way I could. I wondered if uncle would even notice. In time he returned, sat myself me, slipped his arm over me and pulled me close to his side. I rested my head against the side of his chest and felt content. As uncle watched TV my eyes seemed glued to the front of his pants and my mind continued racing. I felt happy to have uncle all to myself. I must have been in a near trance as I just blurted out without thinking, "Uncle, do you have a girlfriend?" You would think that I had just asked him if he wanted a cup of tea for he just replied as if the question was nothing.
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"No Sarah, I don't". Perhaps emboldened I asked "Why not?" Again his response was just like any other question. "Well Sarah, I just haven't found a nice enough girl and really am too busy to look too hard right now. " "Don't you like having a girlfriend Uncle?" "Of course I do Sarah, I just haven't had time for one for a while. " Why I said what I said next I will never know, but I did all the same. "I could be your girlfriend. "Uncle chuckled but not in a mean way and gave me a big squeeze towards him. "Oh Sarah, how lovely. In a way you and sis are my girlfriends, you are my two most favorite girls in all the world. " My mouth seemed to be working much faster than my brain at this point "But uncle, you can not have two girlfriends, you should only have one, and sis is too young. " Again uncle chuckled and hugged me to him "Oh Sarah. Do you really think uncle needs a girlfriend?" Somehow I had lost my courage and resorted back to meekly saying "yes". Uncle was quiet for a moment then spoke again "Well Sarah, if you really want to be my girlfriend, then you can. But I think it’s probably a good idea not to tell anyone, especially sis. It'll be our little secret, you are my girlfriend and I am your boyfriend.
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What do you say?" My boldness had completely deserted me but I was still able to muster up a quiet "ok". "Ok my pretty girlfriend, let’s have a little cuddle and watch TV before you get too tired. " I felt happy to hear him call me his girlfriend and happy to hear him say I was pretty but as I sat cuddled beside him I thought nothing else had changed. He said we are girl and boyfriend but maybe he was just kidding. So I asked "Am I truly your only girlfriend?" Uncle sighed, paused a moment then spoke. "Sarah, you should know that uncles and nieces are not meant to be boy and girlfriend, that other people would get very angry if they heard such a thing. I think your mother and father would get angry too. Your uncle is too busy to look for a girlfriend so will not have one for a long time, maybe never again. So, if you really want to be my girlfriend and you promise to keep it secret from everyone else, and I mean everyone else; friends sis, mum, dad, teachers, everyone.
Then and only then can you truly be my girlfriend. " We were both silent for a moment, then he asked "So Sarah, what do you say? Do you still want to be my girlfriend?" Head down, I answered yes. "Sarah look at me?" When I didn't move uncle repeated the request and with his fingers under my chin lifted so that I was looking at him. "Look at me Sarah and tell me if you want to be my girlfriend?" Yes I responded. "And do you promise to keep this secret from everybody else in the world. " Again my response was yes.
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With that, uncle took his fingers from my chin, hugged me tightly to him and said "Good, I am happy to have a pretty little girlfriend"We sat for a while, I felt happy but still not completely satisfied that anything really had changed between us. Uncle must been thinking too for he asked "Sarah, what is it that you think boy and girl friends do?" I didn't know how to answer that and fumbled with a nothing response. Uncle asked again and eventually I got out that "They went everywhere together and held hands. " Uncle responded "Yes they do that Sarah and you realise that we can not quite do that. But when we are alone we can hold hands. " With that he took my hand in his. "There is something else you're not telling me though Sarah, what is it? What else do you think boy and girl friends do?" He had to ask me a number of times but in the end I said "they kiss. " I felt uncle tense for a moment when I mentioned this and though his body eventually relaxed a little he was silent a moment longer. "Is there anything else Sarah that you think girl and boy friends do?" He kept at me with this question and I said some answers liking "dating" and "cuddling", the one that really floored him was when I said "making out". In the end he seemed satisfied that I had told him all I knew and fell quiet for a while. I sat against his side looking down, my eyes again focused on his lap. I thought maybe his package was a bit bigger than before but couldn't be sure. This intrigued me and I kept looking to see if it would grow before my eyes. When uncle finally spoke, he seemed more careful, his words measured. "Sarah, I am happy that you want to be my girlfriend.
You are a pretty young lady and any man would be pleased to be with you. But we must talk about this some more before we get into trouble. " Eyes still looking at his crotch I asked "what trouble, uncle?" Again uncle was careful with his response. "Sarah, you know how your school and mum and dad all tell you to be wary of unknown older men, to never take gifts or accept rides and so forth?. " I replied yes. "Do you know why your school and mum and dad keep telling you this. " I said that "it was because I might be kidnapped. " Uncle proceeded "Yes there is that Sarah, but there is also more than that. Some men will take children to do more than just kidnap them. They want to see the child with no clothes on for instance, to touch and kiss the child and do other things. " I was quiet and just listening now wondering about what uncle was saying. "Sarah, there are some laws in this country to protect children from men like this, laws that send those men to jail. Until a child is older than sixteen no adult may touch or kiss them in the way a boy or girl friend might. Do you understand what I am saying Sarah. " I said that I thought so but I did not really.
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"So Sarah, if I was to kiss you as my girlfriend and anyone else were to find out then I would be in lots of trouble and maybe even be sent to jail. I don't think you would like to see me sent to jail would you?" Of course I said no to that. "So I think Sarah, that although it is lovely that a pretty young lady like you would like to be my girlfriend, perhaps we should forget the idea so that we don't end up in trouble. " I blurted out "But uncle, we won't get in trouble, we can keep it secret. No-one will ever know. " Uncle gave me squeeze against him. "Sarah, you really want be my girlfriend?" "Yes uncle. " Uncle sighed and was quiet for a moment. "Sarah, I really don't want to do anything to get into trouble. I will have to think about it. " I was insistent, thinking that what had started out great was being lost. "We won't get into trouble uncle. We can keep it secret. " "Ok Sarah, lets not talk about it anymore this night. We can discuss it next time.
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" His final response disappointed me and though I made no move away from uncle I was sulking somewhat inside. I sat against uncle and he held me to him in silence for some time. I think neither of us was watching the TV particularly. I felt a bit sad, that things had really not worked out that well. I think uncle sensed my feeling and my sulkiness. In time uncle suggested that mum and dad would be home soon and that maybe I should pop off to bed before they arrived. I said ok and arose to head to bed, my head down and not very happy with the events of the evening. Uncle saw this and shifted forward to the edge of the sofa, quickly reaching out to take my hand before I moved out of range. "Sarah. How about a hug before you go to bed?" He gently pulled me toward him and that was enough for me to rush to him and throw my arms around his neck. His hands moved to my back and we held each other tight together, chins resting on each other shoulder. I felt uncle move his head back. "Sarah?" "Yes" I replied. "Look at me Sarah. " I moved my head to look at uncle.
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Our eyes met for a second then he moved to me and I felt his lips touch mine in a short kiss before he pulled back. "You won't tell anyone, will you Sarah?" "No uncle. " "Good girl. " This time his lips met mine and held for a few moments. "A kiss good night for my girlfriend. " My mind was in a haze, it felt wonderful to be held close by uncle and he had kissed me twice, my first kisses. "Do you like being kissed Sarah?" "Yes. " " Do you want to be kissed again?" "Yes. " "Ok last kiss then bed. No more ok?" "Ok. " This kiss was longer again, our mouths together I felt uncles tongue flick across my lips. One of his hands stroked my hair while he kissed me. My heart was thumping in my chest, I wanted to stay in my uncles arms much longer. But all too soon he broke the kiss, gave me one last peck on the cheek and suggested I head to bed while reminding me of my promise to say nothing. I looked down for a brief moment before turning to leave the room.
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But what I saw in that shortest of time I will never forget. The front of uncles’ pants was bulging out. I knew in myself that it was his penis that had grown big, very big and I knew also that it was me that had made it so. Uncle holding me and kissing me had made him grow. I thought about this and about my first kisses as I lay in bed and tried to go to sleep. I heard mum and dad arrive home and later uncles’ car leave before finally drifting off to sleep. to be continued . . . . . . .
